The Road To Ruin Needs Paving Again

With bad news like yesterday’s rip-off of landowner’s rights and finding out from Chuck over at Redneckin that Phenix City paid to have a bridge built in Georgia (Don’t they already have enough?), I figured I’d try and divert my attention to something else. I mean, there’s no sense in getting depressed over the fact that the government can steal your property, especially if they are already putting bridges where they don’t belong. The way I see it, I stand a better chance of getting Lee County to actually pick up my garbage than get an honest answer from anyone in an elected office.

So without lending much thought to the process (Maybe I could get elected too?), I decided to concentrate on some of the local road conditions.

Starting close to home, there’s Lee Road 212.



This particular stretch of pavement is one of the few direct routes between Crawford Road and Auburn Road and is very popular. During both the morning and afternoon stress hours, you can easily find yourself in a long line at either extremity. The end that junctions Auburn Road (Lee Road 240) is basically a stop sign with a cute, stubby little turning lane for those going left but, Auburn Road is also very popular… and waiting there for a break in afternoon traffic can be just a bit like waiting for water to boil… without a fire and while standing in a yankee snowstorm. What’s worse is that after you have driven over this span of what jokingly passes for pavement, you know your car needs a chassis overhaul. There’s a fair chance you may not make it home with your transmission.

Next, US 80 (Crawford Road).



Unless your car comes equipped with water wings, don’t even try driving either direction in the right lane on this highway during a thundershower. As a matter of fact, don’t try driving in ANY lane because those with high-stepping trucks just don’t care a lot about your problem because they are still in a hurry and will wash your poor little Toyota into Georgia when they pass you doing 90. This is an awful way to treat other drivers but they have learned that around here, people will commit a slowness in front of you just about anywhere, no matter what the weather conditions are so they feel perfectly justified in this preemptive automotive assault.

Let’s do Alabama 165 now.


This ribbon of blacktop can be used as a way to avoid deadly US 431 between Phenix City and the outskirts of Eufaula. The only problem with this is if you are still driving that little rice burner... because the big boys in heavy haulers also blaze the stretch up to about Cottonton. But there are a few dedicated passing lanes and if you are careful, they will get around your import without scratching it or gumming up your radiator with pine bark.


Finally, we’ll have a look see at our favorite of all places, US 280.



Now, this road used to be a lot different than today. At one time, the stretch between the Little Muddy and points north was riddled with turning holes in the median. And back then, there weren’t no traffic lights either so if you could manage to negotiate the dangers of this beast, it was a very fast way to go. But then came the access roads on either side and all the fun was gone. Literally, it just went to hell in a handbasket. Businesses moved away and some just disappeared when they got paved over. Did it make it safer? Well, yes and no. Yes because less and less people shopped that area but no, because the access roads have intersections and negotiating those boogers is like trying to find a dime in your wife’s pocketbook. Besides all that, when Wally World built the supercenter, everything moved north where there are still more of those turnarounds.